Going Back

For a few months now, I have been going back in my mind to a place I used to be. Not a physical place, but a place of the heart and mind. I have a growing desire to live a missionary lifestyle, and I'm trying to figure out what that means exactly. On one hand, I think it would be awesome to immerse myself into another culture, whether that be in another area in the US or overseas. On the other hand, I think I'm definitley where I am now for a reason and can live a missionary lifestyle right where I am. There's usually a tug of war going on inside of me. Living the American dream versus living out the God-given desires of my heart. Sometimes these two things don't mesh. At church yesterday, I felt convicted, in a good way, to be a giver and not a taker and to be a good steward of my time, gifts (including spouse and children), (our) money, the Gospel, and people. At times, I miss my "mission work"/traveling days! I'm in a different "season" right now: being a mommy. This definitely is priority, however, I can't help but wonder what God has in store for me for the future. Then, I think again. What about now? Our Sunday School teacher (yes, adults can have Sunday School, too!) mentioned yesterday something about planning (monetarily) for the future. Perhaps for retirement or going on the mission field. When he said that (the mission field part), my heart leapt inside my chest! That kind of talk excites me. I know I need a lot of training. And don't forget the hubby! (Nor the little one.) Don't worry, I'm not. I believe God is working on the both of us when it comes to our heart's desires and His plans. The missionary lifestyle definitely starts from the inside, out and in the here and now.

Graduating

Last night my sister, Lauren, graduated from Nursing School! We are all so proud of her. I know she worked really hard and put in many hours of sitting on her butt, studying. LOTS of Starbucks. When she was walking down the stairs to get to the stage, her profile reminded me of the little sister I grew up with. Ever since Lauren was born, I have loved her and felt protective of her. I've always thought she was cute, too! With her long blonde hair and eyelashes. The way she spoke her "R's". She was my little buddy- the only other kid in the house with me for many years, she was my companion. We played together, competed some, teased...I got some bites from her; we embarassed each other and said things we shouldn't have said, especially me! To this day, I feel really badly that I pantsed her at the car dealership, called her names, and made fun of the Christian music she listened to in middle school (when I now love the same music!) I remember feeling for her when she busted her knee open and there was blood everywhere! I felt so sad for her, it was like the accident happened to myself! There have been times where I've ratted her out because honestly there have been times where I've wanted justice. Other times, I was afraid of what she was getting herself into, and wanted what was best for her. Sisters know each other pretty well. I want to always know mine well. I've always had a strong sense of responsibility when it comes to my family relationships for some reason; not as much now as I used to. I felt like I had to be a strong tower to keep people at peace and be the best example. But I'm more relaxed about that now. I know now that God is the strong tower and really the only one who can change people from the inside out if they want Him to; He is the ultimate peacemaker. I know I can do my best to be a good example, but it's not all on my shoulders. I used to run my mouth more and say things harshly (I'm sure I still do from time to time, but I pray I don't.) but I know Lauren has seemed to have a "let's move on" mentality. She hasn't liked to dwell on things for too long, and I've learned from that. She is kind and gives people the benefit of the doubt. As my sister is graduating from college, I think about how we're always graduating on to the next levels: jobs, traveling, marriage, babies, family, faith. The growing never stops, hopefully! And I believe there's a path for our lives, a God-given one, that we are to follow that shapes our lives into fulfilled ones. So, here's a toast to my sister, Lauren. May you always know you're loved. May you always know your worth. May you know the joy and peace of the Lord in your daily life as you go on your way into the world of working Americans. Know you have a sister who is always here for you in every up and down of life, who will try her best to comfort and encourage you and speak the truth in love even if it hurts and you don't want to hear it necessarily. Know you have family to fall back on, and even when family doesn't seem to understand you, know there's a loving God who does. This is your time to shine! And you are shining, girl!

Steven's First Full Time, All Day Hang Out with Levi

Steven is watching Levi all day long for the first time! I must relinquish control! Muuuuaaaahhhahaa! Of course I trust him to do just fine, but I find myself wanting things to happen my way even if I'm not there. I'm trying to figure out if I'm just a control freak or if I'm truly trying to be helpful by making the day as smooth as possible for the both of them. See, Levi has been uncharacteristically grouchy lately. Maybe it's the teething or getting off routine lately...or could it be he's just acting like a big baby? (He is a whopping 20 pounds already!) Anyway, I've written out some reminders to make the day go by more smoothly, and so Steven knows what to expect. I stand by my belief that no one has the Mama touch but Mama. However, I have to say Steven is an excellent Dada. He's extremely helpful. I'm blessed. Really, I am because he wants to be a part of helping out with the "baby stuff". And he does a good job of it! I think he'll get a good taste of what my day looks like when he's had 100% responsibility all day long starting in approximately 11 hours!

Watch out!

I can't believe my baby boy is already 5 months old. He's growing so fast! When moms would tell me to take everything in because they grow up quickly, they weren't joking! I love spending time with him and watching him learn new things. He loves his Mama and I love him so, so much. Today we went for a walk and it was so nice to be outside in the sunshine. He likes to look at the trees. Steven has to go bed super early for his work and the little one is in bed for the night shortly after him, so I get me time. After the dishes are cleaned, counters wiped, laundry squared away...I sit on the couch with the laptop, do the Facebook thing, check my email, watch TV, and enjoy the quiet! During the day, if the TV is on, Levi will twist his little body around to see the screen. Sometimes I see his pupils moving to the far corners of his eyes to try to look at the TV. It's not like I have it on all day. Or at all! I'm not a fan of day time television. I don't want him to get hooked on TV this early! I wonder if other babies love the motion, visuals and sounds as much as him! They say that you should do whatever you want your kids to do. So, I better watch what I watch and how much.

Just Say No to Lukewarmness

I don't always say and do the things I should. I know that just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I don't still sin. I do. But I'm on the road of not wanting to and trying not to. But I can't on my own. Been there. I only go so long feeling strong in myself. Doesn't last. I think it comes down to wanting to be more holy & truly seeking Jesus with my whole heart on a daily basis. And really no one can be holy except with His help! I need Him to work from within me, to change me from the inside out. I know that "all have fallen short of the glory of God"; we all need saving and continual help to live our lives for God. I've been listening a lot to Faith radio lately and I've heard some good reminders and warnings like: 1) there is absolute truth and the truth is the truth whether or not people believe it, 2) when you're a mother, focus on your children and not so much on the things you have or don't have, and 3) be really careful not to be lukewarm; if you know the truth about God and you refuse or put off living it out, you're basically telling God, "No. I don't want you right now. Maybe later. Maybe never. I want to do my own thing. It seems to be working for me. If others want to live radically for You, that's fine for them, but it's not for me." Or "I believe God. I believe it's all true. I just don't want to give you everything- all the areas of my life." I thought this 3rd lesson was particularly interesting because it affects so many people's lives. I take a good look at myself when I listen to these messages. Self inspection, inviting God to help me see where I need some fine tuning. I don't want to be lukewarm. Yuck! Have you ever swallowed lukewarm water?? Who likes it in their shower? I don't! I like really cold water to drink and I like my shower water really hot. What I found interesting from that message was the point that God would rather us be hot or even cold instead of lukewarm. What does lukewarm look like? Giving, but not too much. Being embarassed or ashamed to be associated with Jesus Christ. Not reading God's Word when you know it's good for you and that it's really what you should make time to do because it's the guideline for living, but you're not really passionate about it. Lying and justifying it. Just some examples. Seems like we justify our choices all the time. We do what we want to do and leave God out of it. What's really an injustice is that we people call ourselves Christians when asked what our affiliation is (which really means "little Christ"), and the world is looking at us, and then not truly seek after God in our everyday lives. That Christian life thing is on the back burner. Maybe it's not even on the stove! Here's a toast for all of us who don't want to be lukewarm anymore at all. You don't have to be a do-gooder. To the 'untrained eye', people may think I am a do-gooder, bright and shiny. But no. The good I may do is only because I'm trying to love God through how I live. Like I said, I need His help to do this and have the right frame of mind. Doing good is good, but doing good alone without the relationship with Jesus Christ is like walking outside your home to go to work and you realize you are naked. It's good to go to work, but you're missing something really important! Being "saved by grace through faith" and believing in your heart that Jesus is God and that he was raised from the dead is it. It's it! "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and all are JUSTIFIED freely BY his GRACE through the REDEMPTION that came by JESUS Christ." Romans 3:23-24 PS/ Thank you to an old friend of mine who once literally spewed her lukewarm bottled water (and lunch) at Laodecia. What a memorable visual!

Chilling Out

I have a constant tug of war going on inside of me when it comes to my house. I want my house to be in perfect order. I have to remind myself to chill out. It really comes down to being task oriented versus people oriented sometimes. I have to set down the dirty dish, put off cleaning the floors, resist the urge to straighten stuff so it's perpendicular...and fully engage with my son and husband. Sometimes it seems like everything that needs to be done in the house, to the house, outside the house is screaming at me. Because I'm home all the time, I see what should be worked on and what needs to be fixed more often than when I was working. I have to be okay with a little mess. Breathe. Let things go just a bit. It can wait. People are far more important. In the big picture of life, it doesn't really matter if there's some clutter, or if the baseboards never get painted or a trillion other things I could name. Gotta keep perspective. Chores have to be done. Yet I find myself telling myself that it's okay for the chores to wait.

What's Up With the Wichmanns: Extreme Coupon-er Wannabe...I think

What's Up With the Wichmanns: Extreme Coupon-er Wannabe...I think: "I don't know if you've ever seen the new show called 'Extreme Couponing'. I've watched an episode or two and I find myself wanting to follow..."